I always have a hard time emotionally in January.
It's partially the relief of the holiday season come to an end but it is also the month that I gave birth to and then less than a week later placed a baby for adoption.
So, January is the hardest month because of the child's birthday. I try not to have regrets and woulda shoulda couldas, but I miss her. Every day. My heart is not a whole one because my arms do not have her to hug.
Time heals all wounds. But there are always scars. And this one is a particularly deep one. It sometimes opens and festers for a while.
But. I know she is loved by her parents and wants for nothing. It doesn't make it much easier, but it helps a little.